Why Telling Your Child to “Be Aggressive” Often Doesn’t Work (And What to Do Instead)
Every weekend, across countless football pitches, you hear parents and coaches urging young players, “Be aggressive! Win the ball!” Yet, frequently, these words seem to fall flat, leaving children even more hesitant than before. Why is that?
Because the reality is that aggression isn’t the primary issue for many young footballers—the true challenge is that some children simply don’t want to compete or make a tackle at all.
Understanding Why Children Avoid Challenges
Children who seem hesitant on the pitch aren’t always lacking in ability or desire. More often, they’re dealing with:
- Fear of Injury: Worrying about getting hurt in a challenge.
- Fear of Causing Harm: Concerned about accidentally hurting another player.
- Fear of Failure: Feeling they may embarrass themselves or disappoint others by losing the ball.
- Lack of Confidence: Not believing they have the physical or technical ability to compete successfully.
In these cases, urging the child to “be aggressive” only adds pressure, anxiety, and confusion—often pushing them further away from the game they love.
Aggression Isn’t the First Step—Confidence Is
Before we even begin thinking about aggression, it’s crucial to first build the child’s willingness and confidence to engage in a challenge. If a child doesn’t want to tackle or compete for the ball, no amount of shouting or urging aggression will solve the problem.
Instead, the pathway to success on the pitch looks like this:
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Understanding and Acknowledging Fear
First, acknowledge the child’s fear. Talk to them openly, helping them understand that fear is natural and something they can overcome. -
Gradually Building Confidence
Provide opportunities for your child to experience safe and controlled physical challenges away from the pressures of the pitch. Over time, they’ll build the confidence needed to step into situations that once frightened them. -
Teaching Assertiveness (Not Aggression)
Assertiveness means being firm, decisive, and confident in actions—not reckless or angry. This mindset allows players to approach challenges calmly, intentionally, and positively.
How Martial Arts Supports Football Development
At CSR Academy, we’ve introduced Beaumont Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) precisely to bridge this crucial gap between fear and confidence. Martial arts are uniquely powerful for young athletes because they:
- Encourage Safe Physical Contact: Children learn to handle physical contact safely and confidently, significantly reducing their anxiety about football tackles and challenges.
- Build Genuine Confidence: Martial arts teach children to trust their bodies and abilities. They learn the difference between controlled, intentional movements versus reckless aggression.
- Teach Discipline and Respect: Learning how to respectfully manage physical confrontations helps them approach football challenges calmly and responsibly, eliminating irrational behaviours.
- Encourage Courage Over Fear: Through consistent practice and encouragement, martial arts help children overcome fear, giving them the courage to willingly participate in challenges both on and off the pitch.
Aggression Has Its Place, But Confidence Must Come First
Of course, controlled aggression can be a powerful asset in competitive sports—but it must be built on a foundation of confidence, discipline, and assertiveness. Simply demanding aggression without addressing underlying fears will never work sustainably.
Instead, by focusing first on building a child’s willingness and confidence to engage, you’ll create a resilient, calm, and truly dominant player.
Empower Your Child Through Beaumont MMA
If your child struggles with challenges, contact, or anxiety on the pitch, martial arts could provide exactly the breakthrough they need. At Beaumont MMA, we’re dedicated to turning hesitation into courage, anxiety into assertiveness, and fear into genuine confidence.
Take the First Step Today
To find out more about how Beaumont MMA can transform your child’s experience of football and personal confidence, visit:
Or BOOK A TRIAL SESSION HERE https://csr-academy-global.classforkids.io/term/12
It’s time to give your child the tools they truly need to succeed—not just in football, but in life.
